December 4, 2010

OMGGG !! so stupid me. .

       I had a boyfriend... We were so happy of having each other, we were so much in love... but he lie It was for me like knife in the middle of the heart... I didnt know completly what to do... I knew i should break up... But heart didnt let me... that night i realized how much i loved him... He told me he told him already to stop txtin him cuz he has a bf already but he didnt listen and kept going with txtin him... I believed... Or my love made me blind thats why i believed..One day, He didn't even want to listen to me... He just broke up with me in one second... He left me with such an ease... Look, i didnt leave him of such a reason... and he did cuz od no reason... then i realized how much he "loved me" and how much i loved him... he broke up with me on the phone... no respect to me... i was crying for all 2 weeks for him... then he asked me if i will come back to him cuz he feels tired of being alone... i was like, only cuz of that? not cuz of love? juyst cuz of need to be with someone? i told him no... 3 days later he started to live with his ex bf, the one which had sent him the sms when we were together... its already over 2 mounths after that and hmmm i dont think that i still love him... but i dont hate himn neither... i cant hate someone who i wanted to spend all my life with... i cant hate him cuz he is stupid.. i can only bless him... but horrible pain still exists in my heart... and will always... i know myslef, i know i will be happy in another relationship someday, but it doesnt change the fact, that memory will always keep him and this what he had done to me... i will never forgive him that he made me wanna live ony for him, that he made me believe him... that he made me cry with his hugs which now i know weren't real... i cant forgive him that he took away sense of my life breaking up with me... i dont wish any of u situation similar to mine... btw,i hope he hapy wth new life..  Oh god wut can I say its really hurts mutch he loved me and he was saying a very beautiful words u have ever heard but at last I Figure out that he was a marring guy he was lie on me and we leave each other not 4 this reason but more and more lies ,, but now am in new relation we r still in the beginning but i loved my ex soooo much and his soul still with me :'( I recently lost the man I love pretty much to his church and I thought I was over him because he was a fb jerk about the brake up and I finally said this is enough I cant try to love him anymore he doesn’t want me and I thought I was fine up until yesterday and I heard this rain and now I cant seem to get him out of my head I miss him sooo so much this mind explains it so well I just want the memories to go and let me alone!!!!! 

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